NEW CURE FOR AGING

from "Future Fantastic" by Joe Middleton

The American Institute for New Technology announced yesterday that they have perfected a cure for aging. Government sources refused to confirm or deny the claims -WAP 17/5/2010.

"On Channel Four News tonight, it's official, American

immortality drug is genuine. Also tonight..."

Excerpt from Channel 7 'News Today' programme 6/6/2010

TV Talk Show Presenter "What do you think, yes you there."

Audience member "Well... I think it's brilliant. We can all live for ever! It's absolutely fabulous!"

Presenter "Anyone else, yes?"

Audience member "I am absolutely stunned, it's quite incredible. Death has been conquered, I mean suddenly we're like going to be able to do everything, live for ever and never get old."

Dr Marvin Messelbaum : "If I can just interrupt... your audience are missing the point. The fact is that immortality may now be real, yes it's true, it is, but if you imagine anyone in this room is going to live for ever you are very much mistaken." [General boos from audience] "You can wail all you want."[more boos].

Presenter : "But why? Why won't we?"

Dr Messelbaum : "If I can explain this point because it is very important you understand. Stars of the moment already look better than the rest of us, through plastic surgery, they are maybe 60 but they look like they are in their thirties. Why? Because, their money gives them access to treatments which the rest of us cannot afford. This new drug will be wanted by everyone but only a very tiny few who are worth not millions, but billions of dollars will have access to it because only they will be able to afford it."

Presenter "Does anyone believe this?"

Audience member "No, that guy doesn't know what he's on about. Sure, only a few folk have access now but at the end of the day the U.W.G. will make this available for everybody, maybe not immediately, but soon, it's going to happen, it's just a matter of time."

Dr Messelbaum: "No, no, I'm afraid it isn't. Firstly, no Government could nationalise this research. It's privately owned by a very powerful corporation. Not that any of them would do such a thing anyway, it's not market economics. Secondly, it would be disastrous for our environment if everyone lived forever. Our planet cannot handle the people we have currently! Make no mistake, the super rich will live for ever, the rest of us will die much sooner."

from "Future Fantastic" by Joe Middleton